


Touch

by StormyCloudsFloating



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 19:27:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29337522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyCloudsFloating/pseuds/StormyCloudsFloating
Summary: Reader and Feitan are in a relationship and decide to try something new... cuddling.
Relationships: Feitan (Hunter X Hunter)/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	Touch

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a drabble I thought up of Feitan trying out cuddling for the first time. I'm not sure if it's complete or properly edited ... Hope you enjoy!

He could be rough. Not that you minded. And he never shied away from a kiss, well, he didn’t always respond but he didn’t push you away either. But there was rarely ever casual touching, even less of it on purpose. When he stayed the night at your apartment, he kept to one side of the bed. If you rolled over in the night and were touching him, Feitan was unresponsive as a corpse. The most touching he ever shared with you outside of sex was the occasional hand hold so he wouldn’t lose you on a crowded street. 

It’s not that he wasn’t affectionate. You could see him doing his best in his own way to try and make you happy or do “normal relationship things.” The problem was he didn’t know what was and wasn’t normal in a committed, comfortable relationship. You learned early on that Feitan had very few positive relationships in his life and all of them were in the Phantom Troupe. It’s not like they had group hugs regularly. 

At first you thought this meant that Feitan hated being touched which was an understandable but sad situation given the little you knew about his childhood. So you respected his boundaries and enjoyed your time together from a comfortable distance. 

However, one day, Feitan came to visit you in the early morning hours just before sunrise. Rather than wake you up a couple hours early by joining you, he sat down to rest in the rocking chair you kept in the living room until you woke up. Unfortunately he fell asleep and got a crick in his neck. You found out these details later whereas at the time your only clue was a slightly deeper frown than usual and a tilt to Feitan’s head. 

After some gentle prodding he finally admitted the pain in his neck. Without thinking, you immediately reached out and began kneading the stiff muscles in his neck. Feitan froze for a minute and you slowed your efforts but he didn’t tell you to stop. He didn’t lash out or jerk away. In fact, after a few minutes he slowly began to relax into your hands and let you soothe his aches. Much to your pleasure, he seemed to like your massage. 

“Fei, do you not like being touched?” You asked, your fingers trailing up his neck and his head lolling forward slightly in response. You then waited patiently. Feitan liked direct questions and he gave direct answers. 

Feitan seemed to think for a few minutes, or maybe he was enjoying your hands. You waited patiently, fully aware Feitan wasn’t a fan of talking about himself. At last he spoke, his raspy voice sounding more mellow than usual, “Not that I don’t like it. Just not used to it. This is … nice.” He tensed a bit at the end as if he wanted to take that last sentence back so you didn’t comment on it. Luckily he couldn’t see your little smile. 

“Well would you mind trying touching like this more often?” You asked while lightly scraping the back of his head with your nails. 

A firm hand with long fingers shot back and tightly gripped your thigh. “I touch you.” He hissed petulantly. There it was. Whenever he felt pushed, Feitan often said something mean or took offense at a kindly meant statement in order to sabotage the relationship. Instead of taking the bait you responded calmly, reminding yourself this was just his way of telling you when he felt cornered and to tread lightly. 

You reached down and began tracing patterns on the back of Feitan’s hand on your thigh. His grip wasn’t tight enough to bruise; you weren’t concerned. “I know, Fei, and you know I enjoy what we do together in the bed room … and the living room ...” You grinned and tugged a bit on his hair. Your grin widened when he gave a little growl back. He was coming around. “And the bathroom … and the kitchen …” Your most daring move yet, you slowly pulled his hair with increasing strength until he tilted his head back to look at you. He still looked a little miffed but his gaze softened at your smile. 

“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it how ever much you want: I like being with you, Feitan. All of it. Period. I was just wondering if you wanted to try out this kind of touching to see if you like it. If you don’t like it; we won’t do it anymore,” you shrugged to show how little you cared whether he enjoyed touching or not, so he wouldn’t feel any pressure. But under your poker face you were giddy at the idea of cuddling with Feitan. Would he be the big spoon? Little spoon? What if he turned out to love hugs? The possibilities were endless and endlessly amazing. 

He frowned up at you for a moment before speaking slowly, “I don’t mind the touching. We can … try more.”

“Ok,” you said and petted his hair. It was better to just move on quickly rather than bask in your victory. In a second Feitan was out from under your touch and standing facing you. Initially you thought he didn’t like head pats but one look at the heated expression in his dark eyes told you he had something else entirely on his mind and that this conversation was over. Knowing what was coming, you maintained eye contact with Feitan, giving him your own burning expression, and retreated for every step he advanced, all the way to your bed. 

That was about two months ago. The two of you still haven’t cuddled or snuggled up together on the couch but there has certainly been progress. You could see Feitan consciously choosing to sit shoulder to shoulder with you when you would read together. A few times he threw an arm across the back of the couch behind you when the two of you sat together but it was pretty clear this was an uncomfortable move for him. It was obviously something he picked up from Phinks. Feitan had even tentatively played with your hair once! He seemed to like that more than he expected. 

He surprised you one evening by bursting into your apartment. He caught you reading as he often did and you greeted him with a smile. He watched you from a few feet away, rotating a flat square box in his hands. You knew that asking what was wrong would probably go unanswered if he was in a mood so you waited. 

Eventually, he stepped forward and tossed the box at you. While not as good as his, your reflexes were still good enough that you caught the box. Confused, you opened the box to find a stunning necklace with several sapphires each surrounded by clusters of diamonds with one large sapphire at the center. It was a piece that clearly belonged in a gallery or private collection, not your modest apartment. What could this mean? 

You looked up at him carefully, “It’s beautiful, Fei. What’s it for? Is it Troupe business?” It was an unspoken rule that “Troupe business” meant you kept your nose out of it, Feitan didn’t want you involved. But then why is he showing it to you?

Feitan looked at you with a mix of confusion and slight annoyance, “It’s for you.”

Now you were baffled, “What? You got something like this for me? Fei it’s way too much! Thank you so much really but I’m just happy spending time with you. I don’t need any expensive gifts.” 

He looked offended and a bit taken a back for a second before his expression closed over. You quickly got up from the couch and stood in front of him, taking one of his hands in yours. The best thing about his new found experimenting with touching was that you could often disarm and surprise him just by taking his hand or looping your arm through his. It really helped now to prevent him from getting upset. 

“Fei, not to be rude but where did this idea come from? I mean you’ve never said anything about jewelry or bought me stuff like this before. Not that I don’t appreciate it! It’s just confusing.” You asked. 

He looked away for a long minute before speaking, “Phinks said that when you’re happy with a woman you give them something expensive, like jewelry. Else she gets mad.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “You think I’d get mad if you didn’t get me expensive gifts? Feitan, you haven’t bought me anything before this and I was already happy with you.”

Feitan frowned, seeming to question Phinks’s logic as he looked at the box in your hands. Something occurred to you. 

“Wait, didn't you say Phinks mostly goes out with call girls and escorts?” You asked. 

Feitan jerked and met your eyes, his mind obviously connecting the dots to lead to the fact that Phinks thought Feitan was asking advice about a gift for a prostitute. A job well done gift, if you will. Well, you supposed that’s understandable. It didn’t seem like Feitan had told his friends he was in a relationship yet. 

He seemed mad but you couldn’t help but chuckle thinking that if Phinks could see the gift Feitan got his supposed escort he would think you were the most talented prostitute to grace the world. 

You could tell he felt a bit foolish so before he could get actually angry you smiled and squeezed his hand, “I’m really glad you're happy, Fei.”

Like usual when you acted sentimental, Feitan looked away and shifted uncomfortably, “Yeah … idiot.”

An idea suddenly formed in your mind, “You know, if you want to show me you’re happy, you don’t need to buy me stuff. Why don’t we just try out something new instead? Not sexual!” You added hastily before he got any ideas. 

Apparently you weren’t fast enough because he gave a little huff in disappointment before eyeing you warily. He wasn’t scared or uncomfortable per se, but he didn’t like unfamiliar territory. It was a testament to you relationship that he didn’t just leave and instead nodded slowly, “Ok, what do you want to do?”

You fixed a calm and pleasantly neutral look on your face, “Nothing crazy, I promise. How about we just lay down together while watching a movie instead of sit up?”

Feitan frowned and examined your couch. It was a wide squishy thing made for sinking into but not very long. “How?”

“We’ll lay in the same direction and hold each other! Now do you want to be the pillow or the one on top? I don’t mind being either,” you asked cheerily. 

Feitan considered the question carefully. His eyes then dropped to your breasts. “You be the pillow,” he said and you almost giggled but held it back. You nodded instead. 

“Alright! So I’m going to lay down on the couch then you need to lay on top of me with your head on my chest. You could be between me and the back of the couch if that’s more comfortable,” You explained easily as you got onto the couch and relaxed, leaving plenty of space for Feitan. “Now all you have to do is join me!”

He studied you for a couple long minutes. It got to the point you thought he might decide not to do it at all, but eventually he put his hand on the back of the couch and threw a leg over you. It took a bit of maneuvering, but after a little while the two of you were situated. You laying down on your back and Feitan laying half on top of you. He was surprised to find out that in this position he could hear your heartbeat. He decided he liked that. 

Once the two of you were settled, you turned on the movie you had prepared for the both of you. It was a drama which appealed to you and it was psychological which you both liked and finally it was twisted and a bit grotesque which Feitan enjoyed. You were overly conscious of your movements as you set up the film with Feitan laying on you but you tried not to be tense or unnatural. Finally the two of you settled into a comfortable silence as the film progressed. 

Slowly you wrapped the arm closest to Feitan around his shoulders so you could run your hand along his back and up into his hair. Like this, you petted Feitan throughout the movie and much to your surprise, the arm that had been limp against your stomach reached around your waist and held you tight. You couldn’t have fought the tender smile that came to your lips if you tried.

Despite the excitement on screen, your breathing matches each other from the prolonged contact. Feitan even hummed a little under his breath as you petted him. 

As the movie ended and the credits rolled, Feitan didn’t make a move to hop up like you expected. Instead he seemed to wrap himself a bit tighter around you and nuzzle into your chest for a moment. Then he got up and straddled you, looking down into your eyes like he didn’t quite know what to do. He seemed more relaxed than usual and his gaze had a hazy warmth you never really saw. 

There seemed to be a question in Feitan’s look and posture, one that forced a smile on your lips. You reached up and cupped his cheek, your thumb brushing his skin. He wasn’t quite ready to lean into your touch, he may never be with his sense of pride, but he was asking one thing of you that you were more than willing to give, “You know we’re together so we can do this kind of touching stuff whenever you want.”

One movie and one statement from you seemed to be all it took for Feitan to become untethered. Sure you expected him to be a bit touch starved given his history but you didn’t expect Feitan to become a full on cuddle monster after that. 

He never branched into PDA; in fact you don’t think he’s ever touched you in front of his friends. But once you’re away from prying eyes, Feitan would often grab you from behind and tackle you to the couch or bed with his arms around your waist. If you're facing each other, he would bury his head in your shoulder or rest it on your chest, but you learned that Feitan is not adverse to cuddling you as well. He regularly tackled you from behind and cradled you close while he smelled your hair. 

He even surprised you by taking the initiative sometimes. After apparently seeing it somewhere, Feitan started laying his head in your lap or your head in his while you read or watched something. He was a little aggressive the first time he suggested it, manhandling you into resting across his lap. But you found that you loved his fingers running through your hair as he read. 

Oddly enough though, Feitan seemed to keep sex and cuddling seperate in his mind. Outside that first discussion, cuddling didn’t lead to sex to Feitan. He seemed more than content to lay together fully or partially clothed until he got bored or took one of his “I’m-not-sleeping” naps. That was strange but welcome; the few men you had seen in the past seemed to view snuggling together as a natural, if not expected, precursor to sex. The two of you were still as intimate with each other as ever, rather your sex life hadn’t changed at all. He still never reached for you after sex which you were a little dissapointed about, but he was still getting used to touching. Not to mention that Feitan had told you in the past that his sexual relationships with women before you had sometimes been . . transactionary. He probably didn’t see any connection between sexual intimacy and physical intimacy.

Feitan seemed more relaxed now that he had a non-violent outlet for stress (of course you knew he still did have his violent outlets). All in all though, you were enjoying this new found side of him. There was nothing better than welcoming him into your home with a warm hug that he happily burrowed into.


End file.
